When things fall apart

One of the key and essential books that changed my life was a book called When Things Fall Apart written by Pema Chodron.  She was a student of the late Chogyam Trungpa and writes with a great deal of clarity on all topics of the dharma.  Utilizing the dharma principles, she effectively explains how to deal with all the difficult trials and tribulations we face in daily life.

You can click on the image to get to the Amazon website to review the book in more detail.

I remember long ago reading all the self-help books I could find on how to be persuasive when dealing with interpersonal conflicts.  The toughest individuals were the ones that were the most aggressive and could care less how you felt.  They would always have a counter-argument that would tear apart the great principals put forth by Dale Carnegie such as “Focus on the problem, not the person”.

So, when I came across the concept of “Mirror-like wisdom” and understood it, I never had a problem when dealing with difficult people.  All the resentment from my past faded away.

The next time I had a confrontation with another person; it was easy to be a relaxed witness to whatever was unfolding.  To understand that this angry person in front of me was an actual “reflection of your mind” is quite profound.

I truly wish that more people in the psychological field will be able to use this understanding for the benefit of ALL their clients.

All the best,


1 Comment

Filed under Tibetan Buddhism

One response to “When things fall apart

  1. “The necessary and welcome economic growth within our Sangha, in the form of business operations and commercial and domestic investments, has brought along as a by—product an increasing frequency of disagreements and disputes. There is a need for our society to provide resources for the sane, nonagressive resolution of such conflicts in keeping with the principles of Dharma and the Great Eastern Sun. Accordingly I have decided to institute and appoint the Upaya Council. The function of the Upaya Council shall be to mediate and/or arbitrate commercial and domestic disputes among members of the Vajradhatu community, as individuals, groups, or businesses. It shall be the initial task of the Upaya Council to propose to me and my Privy Council a set of guidelines under which it shall operate. There shall be no internal hierarchy within the Upaya Council and each member shall have an equal voice; the findings of the Council shall be arrived at by unanimous consent.”

    ~ Vajracarya the Venerable Chogyam Trungpa, Rinpoche, Spring, 1979.

    Upaya Council


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